Tuks Res News

Pssst... 23 February 2015

Pssst... very nearly didn’t get a word into this week’s edition. Thankfully Pssst... is cunning and so Pssst... is here with your weekly dose of res gossip.

Pssst... would like to thank Madelief for their lack of jottirs. The Kollege vremies now have nothing to do on campus and some have even resorted to going to class. Too bad the Knolle have nobody to talk to now and, let’s be honest, how long can anybody be interested in a Peppie?

Read more: Pssst... 23 February 2015


Pssst... very nearly didn’t get a word into this week’s edition. Thankfully Pssst... is cunning and so Pssst... is here with your weekly dose of res gossip.

Read more: Pssst...

Pssst...9 February 2015

Pssst... promised to be back and back Pssst... is. Firstly, there are some leftover Rag stories Pssst... needs to tell. Pssst... is surprised that Kollege finished their float at all this year. The Kollege semis’ week long inebriation is the stuff that parents warn their kids about. Pssst... would also like to enquire as to why Nerina is walking the streets at night. At least you’ll be safe seeing as you’re doing it outside the police station. Pssst... supposes that everyone has to start somewhere.

Pssst... hears that Sonop was really bored with Erika as their partners. So much so that Sonop decided to build Nerina’s float as well. This worked only because Sonop had finished their float an entire week early. Olienhout also suffered from boredom at the hands of their Rag partners. Apparently the Houte are planning to zef-divorce Lilium already and, to add insult to injury, place a 10 year ban on them.

Read more: Pssst...9 February 2015

Pssst... 2 February 2015

Welcoming week has come and gone and Pssst… was there to see it all. Pssst… hears that TuksVillage showed everyone how unconventional and forward-thinking they are by forcing all their first years to attend their Welcoming Week socials. While TuksVillage were doing this, the rest of the first years were performing (read: embarrassing themselves) at Ienkmelo­dienk. In an attempt to emulate Curlitzia’s success, Pssst… sees that Lilium chose a degree-related theme. This move clearly backfired and Pssst… thinks that High School Musical should press charges for performance-right infringement. From unoriginal to original themes, Klaradyn’s ‘bacon’ theme was a little on the insane side. With such an unhealthy love for bacon, Pssst… will be watching the Welpies far more closely for first year spread. Pssst… thinks Maroela’s Kamikaze pilots theme was just an excuse to reuse last year’s Rag shirts and that Mopanie’s swimming theme drowned more than it floated. On the topic of swimming, it seems Olienhout has managed to bring speedos back. Pssst… didn’t realise that Lu­minous’s theme was ‘From my heart to yours’. With the bunny ears and bowties, Pssst… was convinced you were actually strippers.

Read more: Pssst... 2 February 2015

Pssst...17 January 2015

Everybody loves a bit of gossip but no one more than Pssst....A new year and new first years promises plenty of scandal for Pssst... and you to enjoy.

Olienhout seems to have embraced the tradition (or should we say value?) of remodelling their first years into looking like hobos. A neat Olienhout guy has become rarer than the rhinos they so love. Pssst... would like to suggest that they redirect their Rag project towards acquiring shoes for themselves.

Klaradyn has becme Kollege and Zinnia’s Rag project this year. It sucks not to have partners but if you actually participated you might find it to be quite fun.

After an uncharacteristically acceptable year Katjiepiering will be looking to prove that they’re not a one-trick pony.

On the topic of Ponies, Pssst... has noticed that Erika still doesn’t have a name for their first years. Pssst... thinks they’re not even trying. Maybe this lack of motivation is why they haven’t won res of the year in recent living memory.

Also stuck in a silver medal slump is Boekenhout. Pssst... thinks that if the Ysters spent less time perfecting their combovers they might actually win ienk.

Read more: Pssst...17 January 2015

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Perdeby Poll

What do you expect from your first year?

Getting distinctions for all your modules - 33.3%
Partying hard - 25.2%
Transferring to BCom Medicine - 41.5%

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