Tuks Res News

Pssst... 1 August 2016

Second week of semester and the scandal is rolling in. Pssst... sees that apparently Katjiepiering and Olienhout have more in common than just consistently loitering in front of the Monate pie fridge. Pssst... hears that both residences have members that cannot hold their liquor during a pub crawl. Pssst… does, however, give credit to the Katte for keeping their after dark antics confined to the dance floor of Springboks and Tennessee. Pssst... is glad that this is instead of distressing the patrons of Oom-Gerts in the middle of the day unlike the mess that was the sleeveless-vest-in-the-middle-of-winter clad Houte at this week’s res hockey.

Speaking of antics at Tennessee, Boekhout’s ‘Cirque du Lune’ culture event happened this last week and Pssst… isn’t surprised if you didn’t know about it until now. The line up of DJs meant the Ysters had to practically beg people to attend the event and even that wasn’t convincing enough for most.

Mr and Miss Curlitzia recovered the reputation of the Kloekies somewhat after their Around the World disaster. This event was just as bland but the lack of the watered down attempt at a punch had Pssst… breathing a sigh of relief.

Read more: Pssst... 1 August 2016

Pssst... 25 July 2016

Pssst... rolls it’s eyes in disbelief at the souring fact that even though the second semester has just begun the antics of res students have barely ceased.

With this in mind, Pssst...was unpleasantly surprised at the annual Around the World yawn fest to find out that despite the unholy behavior on the dance floor of Tenessee, the Kloekies actually do not know what makes a good punch. Curlitzia will be relieved to know that they don’t hand out awards for best punch at external prestige, and that they can continue to bore crowds by winning all of the awards.

Speaking of yawn fests, the annual Taaibos July was held this weekend, where all of the old Rag partners of Taaibos gather to compare whose dress reveals the most leg and who needs to be carried home before the sun sets. The Brakke were on their worst behavior (as usual) and Pssst...was more excited for a midnight snack on the way home from the party than any of the events lined up for the evening.

Read more: Pssst... 25 July 2016

Pssst... 09 May 2016

Pssst… is thoroughly Pssst…-off this week. Honestly, Pssst… is almost glad the EFF wants to take on all these lowlifes that call themselves residences. Not only did the bottom-feeders at OP dare to call Pssst… lazy (at least Pssst…’s hair doesn’t reek of horse faeces 24/7), but the killjoys at Asterhof apparently think Pssst… isn’t “shady” enough anymore. If this is what the Asters really think, Pssst… hopes they know that winter is coming.

Then, a Peppie dared to ask Pssst… whether Pssst… was mistaking Mopanie’s 02:00 “parties” for serrie practice. Listen sweetie, Pssst… knows that a Mopanie serrie practice sounds like a bunch of soon-to-be ex-engineering students butchering the English language, and that a Mopanie “party” sounds like an oxymoron.

Also, why did nobody tell Pssst… that Mopanie has been converted to a female res? Pssst… knows this must be true, because that is the best explanation Pssst… can think of for all the ladies spotted around Mopanie at unholy hours.

As for Erika, Pssst… has seen the new statue in front of their res and Pssst… thinks it’s really dignified. Pssst… isn’t sure why the donkey has a horn on its head, though. Pssst… hopes you can get a refund for that.

Read more: Pssst... 09 May 2016

Pssst... 18 April 2016


Pssst… is in a bit of a foul mood this week. Pssst… has had to invest in a pair of industrial strength earplugs thanks to Mopanie’s 02:00 partying (“Summer of 69” and “Kaptein”, anyone?). Luckily, the festivities died down quickly enough – probably because of the lame soundtrack. Aside from this, Pssst… has heard from a very reliable source that certain ex-Mopanie house members don’t like it when Pssst… says nasty things about their old res. Here’s some advice for you: either put on your big girl bloomers and deal with it, or try and teach the current Peppies some common courtesy. Just because Asterhof and Jasmyn are brown-nosing you for free Oesdag tickets, doesn’t mean anyone else thinks you’re that great, Mopanie.

Read more: Pssst... 18 April 2016

Pssst... 11 April 2016

Pssst… is incredibly happy to be back after the holiday, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for a brand-spanking new quarter. Pssst… was a bit worried that Pssst… would struggle to find some gossip for Pssst…’s adoring public to feast on, but even with two weeks away from university, some res-dwellers still managed to make sure that there was no shortage of juicy tales.

Pssst… is completely baffled by the sudden camaraderie between Curlitzia and Asterhof. Pssst… hears that their FutureFest event was … interesting, to put it lightly. Pssst… wonders if Curlitzia need some advice from the Asters on how to get the male reses to actually like them, and whether Asterhof are getting guidance from the Kloekies so that they can actually win something for once. Perhaps a serrie collaboration is on the cards? Pssst… really doesn’t hope so, since Pssst… would rather eat a spoonful of bees than watch such a performance.

Read more: Pssst... 11 April 2016

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What are you doing during the holiday?

Studying - 22.6%
Sleeping - 37.2%
Lying to your mom about doing stuff - 19%
Taking your textbooks on holiday - 21.2%

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