Tuks Res News

Pssst... 18 April 2016


Pssst… is in a bit of a foul mood this week. Pssst… has had to invest in a pair of industrial strength earplugs thanks to Mopanie’s 02:00 partying (“Summer of 69” and “Kaptein”, anyone?). Luckily, the festivities died down quickly enough – probably because of the lame soundtrack. Aside from this, Pssst… has heard from a very reliable source that certain ex-Mopanie house members don’t like it when Pssst… says nasty things about their old res. Here’s some advice for you: either put on your big girl bloomers and deal with it, or try and teach the current Peppies some common courtesy. Just because Asterhof and Jasmyn are brown-nosing you for free Oesdag tickets, doesn’t mean anyone else thinks you’re that great, Mopanie.

Read more: Pssst... 18 April 2016

Pssst... 11 April 2016

Pssst… is incredibly happy to be back after the holiday, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for a brand-spanking new quarter. Pssst… was a bit worried that Pssst… would struggle to find some gossip for Pssst…’s adoring public to feast on, but even with two weeks away from university, some res-dwellers still managed to make sure that there was no shortage of juicy tales.

Pssst… is completely baffled by the sudden camaraderie between Curlitzia and Asterhof. Pssst… hears that their FutureFest event was … interesting, to put it lightly. Pssst… wonders if Curlitzia need some advice from the Asters on how to get the male reses to actually like them, and whether Asterhof are getting guidance from the Kloekies so that they can actually win something for once. Perhaps a serrie collaboration is on the cards? Pssst… really doesn’t hope so, since Pssst… would rather eat a spoonful of bees than watch such a performance.

Read more: Pssst... 11 April 2016

Pssst... 14 March 2016

Pssst… is both relieved and a little bit sad about the upcoming recess. On the one hand, Pssst… will be happy to take a break from the tedious task of having eyes and ears everywhere, but on the other, this lack of excite­ment will probably leave Pssst… quite bored. Luckily, this week’s res gossip is anything but boring, and Pssst… hopes it can keep you all satisfied until Pssst… returns after the holidays.

Read more: Pssst... 14 March 2016

Pssst... 7 March 2016

Pssst… was in an absolute flat spin last week. With a mass exodus happening at reses due to the lack of food at res dining halls, Pssst… was afraid there’d be nothing to write about. Fortunately, res-dwellers somehow never fail to disappoint, and there was more than enough gossip to go around.

Pssst… didn’t even need to consider attending Curlitzia and Mopanie’s Shavathon, since Pssst… was too busy tearing Pssst…’s hair out at how uninterested the Kloekies seemed in the whole event. Relationships are a two-way street, Curlitzia, and events won’t run on ego alone.

If Pssst… had a heart, Pssst… would probably feel sorry for Magrietjie and Olienhout for the poor turnout at their “Beaches of Dubai” event. Kiddie pools and volleyball might have been enough to convince the small-minded Houte to join the party, but a little birdie told Pssst… that the Magrietjie girls were bored out of their skulls, since this was really just an excuse for Olienhout to coax the ladies into an unwitting wet t-shirt contest.

Read more: Pssst... 7 March 2016

Pssst... 29 February 2016

Pssst… has been away for far too long, although Pssst… can’t say that much has happened in Pssst…’s absence.

Pssst… wasn’t at all surprised to hear that the annual Miss Kollege event soon devolved into Miss Carnage, as girls were apparently falling all over the catwalk – whether this was due to stage fright or inebriation, Pssst… can’t really tell. Pssst… was even less surprised to hear of the Klaradyn first-year parading around in her less-than-modest dress well after the event had ended. It’s okay, Welpies, Pssst… will see you on the tables at Aandklas next Thursday.

Erika and Vividus Men must think they’re hot stuff for winning Valentine’s netball this year. Pssst… has some harsh news for you, however. On an earth that is slowly falling into the black hole at the centre of the Milky Way, such petty achievements mean nothing.

Read more: Pssst... 29 February 2016

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