Pssst...24 February 2014

So Pssst... would just like to start the week off by asking if Pssst... is the only one that has noticed the love affair going on between Katjiepiering and Kollege? The Kollege boys are so whipped that they have no time for anyone besides the Katte. Maybe Katjiepiering should share its secret with Lilium as Pssst... hears the Getjies are dying for some action. If all else fails, Pssst... suggests Lilium ask Maroela for some tips on attracting attention. From the looks of Maroela’s Neknomination video, Pssst... reckons the boys know how to catch someone’s eye, even if it is for baring it all.

The only thing that the Kiaat Game Show proved to Pssst... was that part of Kiaat can actually spell. But Pssst... really thinks that after the boys’ ridiculous attempt at the spelling bee, Kiaat should rather focus on sorting out the conflict between the seniors and first years. Word has it the Cubs are running the res.

With all the chocolates that the Jasmyn first years have been feeding the seniors lately, Pssst... isn’t surprised the Jasmyn seniors have been hiding out in their rooms. Does Pssst... need to remind Jasmyn that the spread isn’t just applicable to first years.

Pssst... wouldn’t be too worried about Kollege not giving Magrietjie enough attention. Pssst... hears that Taaibos is well-acquainted with Magrietjie’s fire escape.

Madelief got a bit too competitive at ienk basketball. Pssst... would just like to warn you to not make a habit of stamping on people’s glasses.

Pssst...17 February 2014

Neknominations have taken over social media these past few weeks and Pssst... was amused by videos of residences downing beer and giving food to the needy.

In between all the drinking and red Speedos, Pssst... was surprised that Kollege managed to fit in some charity work. Pssst... noticed that you enjoyed the bodily harm more than anything else.

Pssst... isn’t quite sure why Sonop felt the need to dress up in their finest suits if all they planned to do was bash their eating utensils. But then again, Pssst... should be used to the Sonop boys showing off. Nerina tried to show off in their Neknomination video too, but Pssst... isn’t sure that anyone really cared, especially since the whole video consisted of a bunch of screaming girls. Nerina, Pssst... also reckons it’s poor form that you begged one of your own residents to nominate the house.

Pssst... hears Maroela flattened Mopanie’s mielie crop. If the Peppies weren’t so busy stripping off for their jock run practice they would have saved themselves the tears.

From bare mielie patches to bare heads, the proefplaas is looking a bit sparse in the hair department. Pssst... thinks that this explains why the boys from Olienhout, Mopanie, Maroela and Taaibos were so lonely on Valentine’s Day.

It’s come to the attention of Pssst... that the Erika girls are still struggling to name their first years. Pssst... suggests “ponies” or finding an actual animal to be your mascot.

Pssst...28 October 2013

Pssst... sees that Kollege hasn’t quite got the memo about the world having survived the supposed 2012 apocalypse because they keep insisting that every year is the end of the world. Besides, everyone, along with Pssst..., knows that Kollege is only using their End of the World party as an excuse to hook up with girls and drink themselves into a stupor. Then again, Pssst... doesn’t think that Kollege ever needs a reason to do so.

It seems Pssst’s... comments about Nerina trying to get to Maroela through their stomachs have put the girls off as the boys have yet to receive more gifts. Also, Pssst... noticed that were no Nerina girls in sight at Maroela’s Jag en Visvang Dag, in fact, Pssst... saw no girls at all.

Apparently Magrietjie is harbouring a big crush on Mopanie. If Pssst... were Asterhof Pssst... would make more of an effort to hold on to our partners.

Pssst... hears that Magrietjie is going to be the laughing stock of the residences next year as they want the whole house to carry on with their huppel tradition. Good luck trying to get Mopanie to notice you after that, girls. Mopanie is only interested in Klaradyn lately anyway. Pssst... can’t help but feel sorry for Asterhof.

Pssst...3 February 2014

New first years means new scandals and Pssst… is here to share it all and deal out some much needed advice.

Ienkmelodienk is an opportunity for eager first years to show their stuff, which Kollege seemed to interpret quite literally. Pssst… thinks a clean change of underwear would have made a much better impression. Luckily for Pssst..., and the audience, Madelief wasn’t wearing Kollege’s outfit because it seems that first year spread has hit early at the girls’ res. Pssst… thinks it would have been nice if all the Knolle could have fit into their tutus.

Speaking of impressions, Pssst… is glad that Inca painted their faces blue. Pssst… wouldn’t like to be recognised in such a boring Ienkmelodienk either.

Pssst… is glad to see that Boekenhout taught their Ysters some martial arts. Maybe now they can fend off the advances of their seniors. P.S. could Luminous please let Pssst… know what their theme was. Pssst... couldn’t tell if Luminous’s make-up was part of their performance or their outfit for a night out at Tiger Tiger after the show.

Pssst... feels really sorry for the Klaradyn first years. Because of Ienkmelodienk, for the rest of the year the girls are forced to wear a pukey yellow shirt that looks like it got attacked by their lion mascot.

Pssst... 21 October 2013


Pssst… sees that the Kollege boys are very impressed with themselves after beating Taaibos in Pot `n Pons. Pssst… feels quite sorry for Taaibos. It can’t be fun to lose to someone who wasn’t even trying. Speaking of trying, Pssst… would like to commend the Mopanie boys for their hard work training for the annual jock run. It worked more for some of you than for others. While Mopanie were running around in their undies, Olienhout were obsessing over rhinos again. Pssst… thinks that if you love the animals so much, you should donate your larger-than-average Pot `n Pons budget to them. Or you can share it with Taaibos, since they like to try so hard. Inca and Luminous could teach Olienhout how to have a good Pot `n Pons stand without quite a few corporate sponsors. Then again, Inca and Luminous didn’t have many people in their stall. Pssst... understands though. Pssst... wouldn’t want to be seen with Inca and Luminous either. Lilium managed to do quite well at Pot `n Pons, despite still not having a HK. Pssst… is surprised too. Pssst’s... eyes are still hurting from Kiaat and Klaradyn’s overly-yellow minion theme. Pssst… would like to remind Nerina that there are other ways to a man’s heart than through his stomach. Pssst… is glad that Maroela enjoy all the burgers and pancakes you’re feeding them and is even gladder that they don’t have a jock run. Pssst… thinks it’s sweet that Sonop baked Katjiepiering a cake but Pssst… is concerned that it was quite boozy. But don’t worry Katjiepiering, the Jasmyn girls will probably help you finish it. Pssst... was sad to see that Asterhof didn’t manage to win anything at the Prestige evening. We can’t all be over-achievers like Magrietjie and Erika, but then again, even Kollege won something. Seems like they’re on a roll. Pssst... hears that Erika made themselves unwelcome at Taaibos after the facility coordinator complained that they had made the res too purple. If you don’t like the Erika girls, you just need to tell them, Taaibos. No one will blame you. Pssst... saw how Klaradyn tried to outsmart Kiaat at their quiz night. Pssst... doesn’t think that Klaradyn should be too impressed with themselves.

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