Pssst... very nearly didn’t get a word into this week’s edition. Thankfully Pssst... is cunning and so Pssst... is here with your weekly dose of res gossip.

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Pssst...9 February 2015

Pssst... promised to be back and back Pssst... is. Firstly, there are some leftover Rag stories Pssst... needs to tell. Pssst... is surprised that Kollege finished their float at all this year. The Kollege semis’ week long inebriation is the stuff that parents warn their kids about. Pssst... would also like to enquire as to why Nerina is walking the streets at night. At least you’ll be safe seeing as you’re doing it outside the police station. Pssst... supposes that everyone has to start somewhere.

Pssst... hears that Sonop was really bored with Erika as their partners. So much so that Sonop decided to build Nerina’s float as well. This worked only because Sonop had finished their float an entire week early. Olienhout also suffered from boredom at the hands of their Rag partners. Apparently the Houte are planning to zef-divorce Lilium already and, to add insult to injury, place a 10 year ban on them.

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Pssst...17 January 2015

Everybody loves a bit of gossip but no one more than Pssst....A new year and new first years promises plenty of scandal for Pssst... and you to enjoy.

Olienhout seems to have embraced the tradition (or should we say value?) of remodelling their first years into looking like hobos. A neat Olienhout guy has become rarer than the rhinos they so love. Pssst... would like to suggest that they redirect their Rag project towards acquiring shoes for themselves.

Klaradyn has becme Kollege and Zinnia’s Rag project this year. It sucks not to have partners but if you actually participated you might find it to be quite fun.

After an uncharacteristically acceptable year Katjiepiering will be looking to prove that they’re not a one-trick pony.

On the topic of Ponies, Pssst... has noticed that Erika still doesn’t have a name for their first years. Pssst... thinks they’re not even trying. Maybe this lack of motivation is why they haven’t won res of the year in recent living memory.

Also stuck in a silver medal slump is Boekenhout. Pssst... thinks that if the Ysters spent less time perfecting their combovers they might actually win ienk.

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Pssst... 2 February 2015

Welcoming week has come and gone and Pssst… was there to see it all. Pssst… hears that TuksVillage showed everyone how unconventional and forward-thinking they are by forcing all their first years to attend their Welcoming Week socials. While TuksVillage were doing this, the rest of the first years were performing (read: embarrassing themselves) at Ienkmelo­dienk. In an attempt to emulate Curlitzia’s success, Pssst… sees that Lilium chose a degree-related theme. This move clearly backfired and Pssst… thinks that High School Musical should press charges for performance-right infringement. From unoriginal to original themes, Klaradyn’s ‘bacon’ theme was a little on the insane side. With such an unhealthy love for bacon, Pssst… will be watching the Welpies far more closely for first year spread. Pssst… thinks Maroela’s Kamikaze pilots theme was just an excuse to reuse last year’s Rag shirts and that Mopanie’s swimming theme drowned more than it floated. On the topic of swimming, it seems Olienhout has managed to bring speedos back. Pssst… didn’t realise that Lu­minous’s theme was ‘From my heart to yours’. With the bunny ears and bowties, Pssst… was convinced you were actually strippers.

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Pssst… 27 October 2014

 A week has passed and the residences seem to have come off of their Prestige high. All this means is that they’ve gone back to their usual weird, unclassy and even plain distasteful ways.

Jasmyn had their formal dinner last week Saturday. Jasmyn proved their classiness yet again by rushing off to DropZone before the food was even cold.

Mopanie had their annual flab parade - uh, jock run. Jock drive? Seriously Mopanie, what are you guys doing? The only people more ridiculous than you were Maroela at their Jag en Visvang. Apparently Maroela are so inept at procuring their own fighters for Boksaand that they invited the DropZone bouncers. This was a poor decision, as Maroela proved to be weaker than Mopanie when they struggled to contain the bouncer’s aggression. Pssst... would like to congratulate Maroela, though, as after years of practise they’ve finally managed to draw a mediocre-sized crowd.

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