Welcoming week has come and gone and Pssst… was there to see it all. Pssst… hears that TuksVillage showed everyone how unconventional and forward-thinking they are by forcing all their first years to attend their Welcoming Week socials. While TuksVillage were doing this, the rest of the first years were performing (read: embarrassing themselves) at Ienkmelodienk. In an attempt to emulate Curlitzia’s success, Pssst… sees that Lilium chose a degree-related theme. This move clearly backfired and Pssst… thinks that High School Musical should press charges for performance-right infringement. From unoriginal to original themes, Klaradyn’s ‘bacon’ theme was a little on the insane side. With such an unhealthy love for bacon, Pssst… will be watching the Welpies far more closely for first year spread. Pssst… thinks Maroela’s Kamikaze pilots theme was just an excuse to reuse last year’s Rag shirts and that Mopanie’s swimming theme drowned more than it floated. On the topic of swimming, it seems Olienhout has managed to bring speedos back. Pssst… didn’t realise that Luminous’s theme was ‘From my heart to yours’. With the bunny ears and bowties, Pssst… was convinced you were actually strippers.
Everybody loves a bit of gossip but no one more than Pssst....A new year and new first years promises plenty of scandal for Pssst... and you to enjoy.
Olienhout seems to have embraced the tradition (or should we say value?) of remodelling their first years into looking like hobos. A neat Olienhout guy has become rarer than the rhinos they so love. Pssst... would like to suggest that they redirect their Rag project towards acquiring shoes for themselves.
Klaradyn has becme Kollege and Zinnia’s Rag project this year. It sucks not to have partners but if you actually participated you might find it to be quite fun.
After an uncharacteristically acceptable year Katjiepiering will be looking to prove that they’re not a one-trick pony.
On the topic of Ponies, Pssst... has noticed that Erika still doesn’t have a name for their first years. Pssst... thinks they’re not even trying. Maybe this lack of motivation is why they haven’t won res of the year in recent living memory.
Also stuck in a silver medal slump is Boekenhout. Pssst... thinks that if the Ysters spent less time perfecting their combovers they might actually win ienk.
Residence External Prestige time has rolled around again and the university crowned the victors in various facets of residence life. Pssst... would also like to recognise residence excellence, but from the bottom up.
Pssst... would like to congratulate Inca on their performance at Prestige this year. It’s a tough job to win zero awards, but someone’s got to do it. The achievement was aided by the fact that they did not even attend Prestige. Maybe they eloped with Kiaat on a losers’ honeymoon.
A week has passed and the residences seem to have come off of their Prestige high. All this means is that they’ve gone back to their usual weird, unclassy and even plain distasteful ways.
Jasmyn had their formal dinner last week Saturday. Jasmyn proved their classiness yet again by rushing off to DropZone before the food was even cold.
Mopanie had their annual flab parade - uh, jock run. Jock drive? Seriously Mopanie, what are you guys doing? The only people more ridiculous than you were Maroela at their Jag en Visvang. Apparently Maroela are so inept at procuring their own fighters for Boksaand that they invited the DropZone bouncers. This was a poor decision, as Maroela proved to be weaker than Mopanie when they struggled to contain the bouncer’s aggression. Pssst... would like to congratulate Maroela, though, as after years of practise they’ve finally managed to draw a mediocre-sized crowd.
It’s the that time of year again when residences get to know their new Rag partners. With a roster change having just happened, some reses are pleasantly surprised, while others are regretting ever asking for one. Pssst... is content because the more drama, the better.
Katjiepiering were left unimpressed during their Zoep Week with Kiaat when the Cubs asked the Katte to bring down their own mugs for coffee. Pssst...would like to remind Kiaat that it’s only common courtesy to provide ladies with a mug if you’re offering them a drink. Then again, if your budget really was that small maybe the Katte were better off making their own Nescafe in their rooms.
Zinnia seems to have taken a liking to their new partners. The Pixies filled Kollege to breaking point at their sokkie evening. No word of where all the Kollegemen were, though. Pssst... wonders if they’re still hanging onto the Katte. Not that Pssst... thinks they’ll be disappointed, seeing as the Katte are so desperate.