Pssst...

Pssst…18 May 2015

Serrie season has come and gone, but Pssst… isn’t about to let the hype train pass without hopping on board. Pssst… has compiled a bumper edition of serrie shenanigans for all you gossip kings and queens.

Pssst… would like to start off with a few dishonourable mentions. Sonop, you had one job. Everyone was looking forward to you disappointing in finals, and you don’t even have the decency to make it. Pssst… wasn’t surprised to see a few ladies crying in the piazza after the serrie finalists were announced. Pssst… isn’t pointing any fingers, of course, so your secret’s safe with us, Erika.

For most reses, serrie prelims were disastrous, as usual. Pssst… would say that Asterhof had a rubbish theme, but that’s just trash talk. Madelief, Pssst… would like to know one thing from you: what were you thinking? If you’re going to base your theme on a popular film franchise, at least have the decency not to underestimate the audience’s intelligence. On that note, Pssst… would like to know exactly what/who the Knolle’s band were supposed to be – Star Wars characters or members of Daft Punk? A little bit of midriff-flashing will only get you so far, Madelief. Speaking of underestimating the audience’s intelligence: you know nothing, Jasmyn.

Pssst… would say something about Klaradyn’s serrie, but Pssst… honestly can’t remember their performance. Like, at all. Pssst… thinks that Inca’s comeback was more like coming out – not that Pssst… is judging you or anything, Inca. Pssst… has been accused of slut-shaming recently, you see. But what most people don’t understand is that Pssst… doesn’t need to shame anyone – they do that perfectly well all by themselves.

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Pssst... 11 May 2015

 Pssst… is as excited for serrie as anyone else. Not for the performance, but so we can see who drops lip and who sneaks into the finals. Not pointing any fingers, Madelief.

The Katte seem to be on an external streak after last year’s placement and an Ienk finish, but Pssst… is not expecting any surprises this year. The try-hards on medical campus are going to be difficult to beat. Who else has practice at 08:00 in the morning, during the holidays, after their own main culture event? Haven’t the Kloekies got better things to do? Like learning to save people’s lives?

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Pssst...16 March 2015

Pssst... is really starting to get bored with all this lack of activity. We understand it’s engineering week, but then what’s your excuse Groenkloof?

Serrie practice has provided some excitement, but not for those doing it. Boekenhout seem to be using the “try to be louder and scarier than everybody else” tactic again. If it didn’t work in the last couple of years, what makes you think it’s going to work now? Pssst... has seen that Taaibos, however, have been stuck on the same song the whole week. No pressure to the Brakke after winning Ienkmelodienk, especially since Taaibos went from winning serrie a couple of years ago to not placing at all.

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Pssst... 21 April 2015

It’s been quite a break but Pssst… is back with a vengeance and knows when reses are slipping up.

Pssst… realised that every res spent last week trying to get their events out the way and focus on serrie. Jasmyn started by having a Mexican party in the height of cultural unrest in the country. Erika, on the other hand, were pompous enough to have a pageant for just their own girls. Way to make sure you come out with a win there. It’s not often that you get outclassed by Jasmyn, but at least the Slurpies let other people have fun too.

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Pssst... 9 March 2015

Another week and Pssst... was keen to write about something exciting. Too bad the only thing Pssst... could find was Ienk Athletics. To make things worse, Kiaat couldn’t be quiet for more than five minutes. Pssst... thinks they were just intimidated by coming to a real campus. This was coupled with almost every female residence singing high school (and primary school) war cries. Grow up ladies. Rare bits of excitement came from the toga-clad Kollege (before they were kicked out) and the Mopanie jock run. Pssst... knows the Vremies may be a bit unfit, but is it really necessary to turn the 3000m into a relay? As for the Peppies, maybe having the mini-mart open until nine at night was not such a great plan. Jasmyn tried to spice up the HK relay, but unfortunately Baywatch was kind of lost on this generation. Pssst... found most of the Slurpies asking what it had to do with their “baes”. Or lack thereof.

 

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