Pssst...

Pssst... 08 February 2016

Now that the ratchet behaviour of Rag has subsided for the next while, Pssstwould like to ask that we focus on Rag projects as opposed to making charity cases out of each other. That’s right. Pssst… is looking at the Vremies.

Pssstrecommends that the Welpies bin their membership cards for Tennessee immediately. Pssst… is pretty sure the floors of those bathrooms have had enough of you by now. Speaking of being exhausted by relentless behaviour, how about Magrietjie give Maroela a rest for a bit? Or, at least until it’s safe to expose your neck to the world without the use of a decorative scarf. Pssstwould like to remind Maroela that it is the middle of summer and we all know what’s under that scarf.

Boekenhout has definitely been very quiet post-Rag, but Pssstthinks that maybe we just can’t hear them from all the way down at eighth place. Say “hi” to Erika for us, Boekenhout, or are they still nursing their ninth place burns? 2016 is off to a good start in terms of deflating misplaced egos.

However, a pity-pat on the back for a purring Katjiepiering is due, because fifth place is probably nice and comfortable when your float theme was about being lazy. Well done Katjie, you deserve a consolation nap.

Read more: Pssst... 08 February 2016

Pssst... 1 February 2016

Even though Ienkmelodienk is thoroughly (and thankfully) behind us, Pssst… was still there to witness all the, uhm... “performances”, and Pssst… is as ready as ever to comment on them.
Oh, Katjiepiering, had your Skerwe but kept their Ienk masks on to save them the embarrassment of showing their faces in public after that disastrous performance. Honestly Katjie, Pssst… was more entertained by the drunk Olienhout ex-HK sitting behind Pssst… than by your dancing.
Pssst… is surprised that Lilium placed fourth. Pssst… thinks it’s really creative that Lilium chose a theme that so perfectly reflects their res: female prison. As for Taaibos, Pssst… is pretty sure they’ve never seen what a real sumo wrestler looks like. It’s called the internet, Taaibos. You know, that place where you go to look at … never mind.

Read more: Pssst... 1 February 2016

Psst... 19 October 2015

Pssst… has been away for far too long, and Pssst… thinks it’s time that the safety blanket is lifted off the fragile res-dwellers.

Pssst… would like to ring in the new quarter with a question for Erika: have you all gone insane? From prancing around on campus with brooms between their legs, to arriving at the Perdeby office with purple paint all over their arms and legs, to asking poor, unsuspecting students how to ride a unicorn, Pssst… thinks that the Erika ladies have finally lost it. Erika, Pssst… will tell you how to ride a unicorn: you don’t, because it is a mythical creature that doesn’t exist – much like your dignity.

Read more: Psst... 19 October 2015

Pssst... First-years edition 2016

New year, new me? No such luck. Pssst… is back and, quite frankly, the anticipation of what’s to come with a brand new batch of first-years has Pssst… waiting with bated breath.

Maybe Madelief will be able to keep their hands on their jottirs instead of all over the Kollege boys this semester? Maybe the gentlemen (cavemen?) of Boekenhout will give washing their indisposed headwear a try? Maybe Klaradyn will stop being the last to leave the jol? Pssst… can only hope.

Speaking of hands, Pssst… suggests that Mopanie keep their hands off the pies and on their bikes in 2016. C is for cardio, not Cornish pasty. Pssst… recommends the same advice for the ladies of Asterhof, although Pssst… understands that living on the doorstep of Dominos pizza can’t be easy. Pssst… recommends that Asterhof watch their backs as much as their fronts, or else Erika will be back on the trouvrou (and anti-feminism) bandwagon faster than you can order another handful of Cinnastix.

In keeping with affairs of the heart, it seems as though the only cardio Katjiepiering is getting comes in the form of chasing after any attention from Olympus. Rag partners? Try sad partners. Take a lesson from the ladies of Lillium and leave those men behind. Oh wait, scratch that, Taaibos left Lillium. Even worse, Pssst… hears it was for Kiaat. At least they’re advocating for LGBTI rights.

Pssst… has high hopes for the ladies of Jasmyn. Will you attempt to outshine Tuks Village this year so that Village will claim your space as the unwelcome neighbour at the Proefplaas party? Pssst… hopes so.

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Pssst... 14 September 2015

It’s been an interesting week in res circles. At least, it was interesting for the reses, but not really for Pssst…. Besides the normal debauchery, Pssst… hears that Boekenhout had to find an actual reason to make unlimited punch, because if you start brewing punch for no reason, that apparently counts as alcoholism. Pssst… would also like to know how the Ysters managed to make a punch so expensive that it could pay for an underprivileged student’s studies.

Besides this, most of the reses kept themselves busy with their zef divorces these past few weeks. Pssst… is sure that some reses are happier to be rid of their partners than others. In the spirit of spring and new beginnings, Pssst… has decided to compile a list of breakup songs for the (ex) Rag couples of 2015. 

Read more: Pssst... 14 September 2015

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