Pssst... 11 April 2016

Pssst… is incredibly happy to be back after the holiday, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for a brand-spanking new quarter. Pssst… was a bit worried that Pssst… would struggle to find some gossip for Pssst…’s adoring public to feast on, but even with two weeks away from university, some res-dwellers still managed to make sure that there was no shortage of juicy tales.

Pssst… is completely baffled by the sudden camaraderie between Curlitzia and Asterhof. Pssst… hears that their FutureFest event was … interesting, to put it lightly. Pssst… wonders if Curlitzia need some advice from the Asters on how to get the male reses to actually like them, and whether Asterhof are getting guidance from the Kloekies so that they can actually win something for once. Perhaps a serrie collaboration is on the cards? Pssst… really doesn’t hope so, since Pssst… would rather eat a spoonful of bees than watch such a performance.

Pssst… has received word that the social go-slow at the Groenkloof reses has reached new heights, since Lilium hasn’t hosted or attended a social event since January. Shame, you know it’s bad when Kiaat and Inca take pity on you and invite you to third-wheel at one of their socials.

Katjiepiering’s annual interior night (which is really just a cheap excuse to invite a bunch of men into their building) went as debaucherously as usual, although Pssst… was told that consuming copious amounts of punch was the only way to make it through the otherwise unentertaining night.

Meanwhile, it seems like no one is really excited for Mopanie’s Oesdag – not even the Peppies themselves. Pssst… thinks they’re probably too busy making inappropriate remarks to anyone on the Proefplaas who even slightly resembles a female.

Pssst… is very amused by the fact that Jasmyn had to emphasise that their Wellbeing-week slumber party was specifically for girls only. Only for the Slurpies would this need to be stipulated so clearly – because no one wants a repeat of that embarrassing Tennessee incident, right Jasters?

Pssst… has become quite worried about the quiet state of things at Erika and Madelief. Pssst… would like to know what (or who) the ladies are hiding from? Although, Pssst… was glad to see Erika indulging in some good old vandalism by painting on the dustbins on campus, just to remind everyone that they haven’t fallen off the map completely.

Speaking of quiet residences, Pssst… wonders if Olienhout have decided that social interaction is just too exhausting for them? Houte, if you want to be social ostriches, think of your ex-Rag partners Lilium as a cautionary tale – if you’re too silent for too long, Kiaat might just invite you to an event, and you don’t really want that, do you?

With everyone re-adjusting to varsity life for the new quarter, Pssst… is sure that some tantalising res news will surface next week. You, of course, can make this prediction even more of a reality by sending your res gossip to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. your social media marketing partner

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