Pssst... 3 April

Pssst… has been very busy this week trying to keep track of all the frivolous res parties. Pssst… doesn’t understand what the residences have to celebrate, Pssst… wouldn’t be so relaxed with Serrie around the corner.

Pssst… isn’t expecting much from Sonop this year, and not because Pssst… is worried about Sonop being disqualified again. Madelief might know what Pssst… is talking about. Maybe choosing the early hours of the morning to perform in underpants isn’t the best idea. Pssst… noticed that it was quite cold, Sonop.

In other news, Kollege has been quite busy this week. A few of the Kollege flat-caps decided to host a funeral for poor “Karl” who is in a relationship. Pssst… hopes that they don’t see a future in acting, but Pssst… is glad to see that at least one person from Kollege was able to adult.

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Pssst... 27 March 2017

Pssst… sees that even though last week was so short, the residences were able to get quite a lot not done. Mopanie’s mieliewag in particular seem to have had a very lazy long weekend. #wherearethemielies Mopanie? Pssst… thinks that maybe some of their first years would make effective scarecrows.
Speaking of scarecrows, Katjiepiering and Madelief have planned a social to “bury the hatchet”. Pssst… isn’t sure what happened, but Pssst… would like to let Madelief know that not all of the Katte are excited. But maybe this isn’t because of the wrongs that transpired between the two residences, Pssst… wouldn’t want to go to a Madelief social either.

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Pssst... 6 February 2017

It is that time of the year again, where the first-years from each res belt out some songs and try to coordinate boy band moves. That is presumably why Ienkmelodienk was renamed 1nsync. Pssst... attended this year’s 1nsync to give some constructive criticism.

Pssst... would like to console the defending champions Boekenhout and Magrietjie. 1nsync had some really good performances, your performances were not included in those. It is quite ironic that the Ysters had a barbershop theme but lacked good haircuts. Just because you do not live at home anymore does not mean you should look like a you’ve been stranded on an island for a year. The Spikkels’ theme, Meskom, made Pssst... wish the power really would go off to kill their performance.

The only thing worse than the Welpies’ awful puns was that their theme was called “Bae Watch”. Pssst... now understands why Klaradyn has a hard time finding anyone who wants to be their “bae”.

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Psst...20 February 2016

Pssst... would like to remind everyone that just because it is Valentine’s day it does not give you the right to vandalize property. Poor Erika had to endure Olienhout’s screeches and lame post-it notes that littered their foyer.

However, this is not as bad as Olympus abusing roses to spew romantic slurs at Madelief. Speaking of Madelief, Pssst... rejoiced when, for the second week in a row, there were no jottirs on campus. Pssst... really hopes that Madelief decided to get rid of those stupid polystyrene hats.

Magrietjie must not be loving the single life since Pssst... has never heard such unenthusiastic skipping coming from the Spikkels. It must be so hard to Rag alone. Maybe they should join Taaibos, who were seen drinking alone at Springbok on Valentine’s day.

Pssst... heard that the wedding vows Kollege made to Curlitzia at their zef wedding were as empty as the Vividus sign up tables last week.

Vividus Ladies had some trouble keeping Mopanie’s attention what with all the other lady reses being invited to the Mielievidus zef wedding. Didn’t anyone ever teach Mopanie men that it is rude to invite the mistress to the wedding?

Just some friendly advice from Pssst... to Zinnia, a duck pond filled with the stench of duck droppings, is not the supreme spot for a romantic make out sesh. Pssst... feels really bad for the men of Kiaat, surrounded by Inca, Lilium and Zinnia but zero marriage material around.

Pssst... would like to congratulate Jasmyn, Nerina and Asterhof for being so completely boring, that even Pssst... has nothing mean to say.

The only thing hot about Klaradyn this week was the fire drill they had.

Mareola should stop hanging out at Livingstones or risk not getting back into res like so many of your 2016 first years


Pssst... 1 August 2016

Second week of semester and the scandal is rolling in. Pssst... sees that apparently Katjiepiering and Olienhout have more in common than just consistently loitering in front of the Monate pie fridge. Pssst... hears that both residences have members that cannot hold their liquor during a pub crawl. Pssst… does, however, give credit to the Katte for keeping their after dark antics confined to the dance floor of Springboks and Tennessee. Pssst... is glad that this is instead of distressing the patrons of Oom-Gerts in the middle of the day unlike the mess that was the sleeveless-vest-in-the-middle-of-winter clad Houte at this week’s res hockey.

Speaking of antics at Tennessee, Boekhout’s ‘Cirque du Lune’ culture event happened this last week and Pssst… isn’t surprised if you didn’t know about it until now. The line up of DJs meant the Ysters had to practically beg people to attend the event and even that wasn’t convincing enough for most.

Mr and Miss Curlitzia recovered the reputation of the Kloekies somewhat after their Around the World disaster. This event was just as bland but the lack of the watered down attempt at a punch had Pssst… breathing a sigh of relief.

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