Pssst... 23 October 2017

Pssst… was in hiding for a while. Mostly because the residences were so boring this last quarter. Not even Mopanie dressed in only snug black underwear for their annual Jock Run seemed to excite anyone. Maybe it’s because the ladies’ residences finally realised that Mopanie Girl isn’t really that special, since Mopanie sings it at anything that even glances their way.

Pssst… heard that Madelief left the arrangements for their engagement to Mopanie to the last minute. Not too excited to be paired with the most underwhelming residence of 2017, ey? And what’s with the name change from Zef to Africa? Pssst… smells cultural appropriation.

Magrietjie and Olienhout’s Rag name is Mags Republic. Pssst… thinks this name is very original and not at all similar to 2014s Mad Republic. Maybe the Houte can’t get over Madelief after all these years, or maybe they have just lost their oompf to even care. Pssst… just doesn’t hear much else from the pitiful Houte.

Jasmyn and Katjiepieiring must be very unimpressed with their assigned Rag partners, to be depressed enough to pair together along with Kollege. Pssst… just doesn’t believe that Jasmyn and Katjie will be able to keep the hormones to bay, especially since Jasmyn is still bitter about Katjie’s red HK dresses this year.

Vividus Men, oops! Pssst… means Dregeana has been trying hard to impress their new Rag partners, Klaradyn, during Zoep Week. Apparently a thoroughly underwhelming Zoep Week was not improved by ragging with a res that can’t pronounce their own name. Pssst… just want to remind Dregeana that this will make no one forget about their awful Serrie, but at least this time you were all fully dressed. Thank goodness! No one wants to see that again.

Pssst… also wants to congratulate Boekenhout on a great feesjaar. Except that is wasn’t a feesjaar, since Boekenhout is only 54 years old. But Pssst… won’t too hard on the Ysters, because Pssst… knows that elaborate schemes like this are the only way to get people to ever take notice of Boekenhout. Pssst… was even surprised to hear to they have a clubhouse, when they opened it on Friday.

Pssst… heard that a Jasmyn lady has been sending unsolicited complaints on how “even [she] doesn’t want to be in Jasmyn”. Pssst… can’t really blame her, since Pssst… wouldn’t want to be in Jasmyn either.

Pssst… has heard that Olympus has been struggling without their favourite gossip source, but Pssst… isn’t interested in pandering to the demands of entitled medical students who think they pay for Perdeby. your social media marketing partner

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