The Top Ten: things overheard in the newsroom


The Perdeby office is a supremely serious space of work, focus and long hours. Inevitably, this leads to the occasional lapse in mental acuity (read: brain fart). Below is a list of some of these stress fractures in the Perdeby façade.

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Those who can, teach

I’m still in the process of recovering from Serrie this past week. Thirteen consecutive performances is not for the faint-hearted and having to perform at finals still locked down by day-three stiffness is not easy. What impressed me most this year, though, was that Zinnia made finals and with that made Groenkloof history as the first education campus res to ever do so.

The fact that Zinnia had achieved this struck me because of several different conversations I’ve had over the last two weeks. The first of these was a tweet by a former schoolmate of mine that said that he felt sad seeing classmates of ours that matriculated with six or more distinctions studying teaching as he thought it was a waste of talent. I called him a nasty name in my head (his statement made me angry) and then asked him why he felt that way. He explained that money and recognition was more important to him. I felt sorry for him because he’s obviously never read The Great Gatsby. If you’ve never read the book, here’s your epiphany for the week: it’s not about the number of people at your party but the number of people at your funeral. I can tell you that I won’t be attending his funeral one day, even if he had tons of money, but you can bet that I will go out of my way to attend the funerals of several of my teachers.

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Perdeby media school, lesson 1

On Friday I said that I was going to write an editorial of this nature. I didn’t. Obviously it’s time to, though, because here I am on a Sunday night rewriting the editorial that I intended to. This decision is based on two incidents that have happened to Perdeby staff members this last week.

In light of the political schools that political parties on campus are hosting, Perdeby is jumping on the bandwagon right here to provide you with some important things to note about media. You can call it a media school, if you must.

The function of media, including Perdeby, is to inform, educate and entertain. Essentially, we need to reflect reality by being a mirror to society. We do this by providing objective information that will inform society about what is happening around them. More than that, we are the watchdog of society, ready to bark when things look suspicious. We aren’t complacent about happenings so that we can, in turn, mobilise society out of its complacency.

Perdeby is independent, and we fight hard to keep it that way. This is because our allegiance lies with the students. Perdeby is not the propaganda machine of the university. We don’t have to be nice to them if they’re not being nice to the students. Likewise, we’re not controlled by the SRC. They may be students but we don’t have to be nice to them either. We’re definitely not under the jurisdiction of any society or structure, so they can’t tell us what we’re not allowed to do if it’s well within our rights. Key to this independence is objectivity. Perdeby always strives to tell the story as it happened. This includes telling every side of the story. It’s also the reason why I don’t believe in publishing opinion pieces other than the editorial, why we won’t let anyone but a Perdeby journalist write a story, and why we have a designated “letters” section for any opinions expressed to us.

Read more: Perdeby media school, lesson 1

The Top Ten: serrie themes we don't want to see


With serrie season almost upon us, Perdeby looked at some past themes we hope won’t be resurfacing this year. Or ever.

1 A tip for the gentlemen this year: the audience does not appreciate stripping as much as you think they do. Instead of Full Monty, think Monty Python. Replace those jiggling beer bellies with quirky humour and perhaps the ladies will finally take notice of you.

2 Any theme based on a musical. We can only handle so much Grease, Chicago and Rock of Ages, ladies. A little originality never hurt anyone.

3 Themes that can’t be guessed within the first few seconds of your performance. If the audience needs an extended metaphor to understand your theme, you’re probably doing it wrong.

4 Anything involving insane asylums. Res-dwellers, you can stop hinting. Everybody already knows you need help.

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The top ten ways to decorate a statue


In these trying times, statues need some well deserved protection from the elements and some decorations to make them feel better about themselves. You know what they say: “A pretty statue is a happy statue.”

1. A raincoat. Statues have always been susceptible to the perils of precipitate, whether it be from clouds or the consequences of overfeeding birds.

2. Parasol. Just as the rain can brutally beat down on a statue, so can the sun. A parasol will be handy to keep the stinging rays at bay.

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Perdeby Poll

What do you expect from your first year?

Getting distinctions for all your modules - 33.3%
Partying hard - 25.2%
Transferring to BCom Medicine - 41.5%

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