The Top 10

This is Perdeby’s Top 10, a place where you can find invaluable advice throughout the year.

MARGEAUX ERASMUS

This is Perdeby’s Top 10, a place where you can find invaluable advice throughout the year. 2013’s first Top 10 lists certain mishaps almost every first year goes through when they start university. Here are the top 10 don’ts for first years:

10. Dye your hair luminous pink. Radical hair colour may seem like the perfect way to be that new you, but some colours just weren’t meant to match the human complexion. Not to mention the effects it can have on your locks. If your hair is turning to grass, maybe it’s time to return to more natural shades.

9. Get a drunken tattoo. Tattoos can be epic, but they can also be downright ridiculous. And getting “mom” tattooed on your arm, or a barbwire, or Justin Bieber, or a tramp stamp is definitely not one of those. Put some thought behind what you ink. And for the love of all things in this world, check tattoos written in a foreign language. Just because the tattoo guy says that the Chinese word says “freedom” doesn’t mean it really does.

8. Get married. Don’t get married to someone you just met. The freedom of varsity life may let you think you’re ready for a spouse, but the only thing you should be devoting all your time to right now is yourself. Seriously.

7. Eat junk food all day. How do you think first-year syndrome became a thing? Do yourself a favour and remember to eat home-cooked meals once in a while. Your body will thank you.

6. Guys, don’t grow bangs. Just because you no longer have to keep your hair short doesn’t mean “mop head” is in fashion. If you’re going to go through a long hair phase at least have it styled. The grown-out school boy cut really doesn’t make you look like Johnny Depp.

5. Complain about how hard your degree is. It’s your first year. Get over it.

4. Girls, tights are not pants. Don’t exchange your trousers for tights. If we can see the curve of your behind and other unmentionables then maybe a skirt/shorts/very very long shirt is needed.

3. Join a cult. Individuality is a beautiful thing. Don’t throw it away just because so-and-so seems awesome right now. Think for yourself. P.S: Sometimes res can border on cultism. Just saying.

2. Fall pregnant. Just because 16-year-olds are doing it, doesn’t mean you should. How are you supposed to travel the world with a pram and crateload of diapers. Be wise, condomise.

1. Get a nipple piercing. It doesn’t matter how cool you think it is while you’re wasted. Getting a nipple piercing is never a good idea. Ever.

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