As we all know, breakups are hard. Unfortunately, there isn’t one single formula that makes them easy or helps you get over the person. However, Perdeby has put together a list of 10 things to do that will ease the heartache and aid the healing.
Do not throw away or burn photographs, letters, and other items of memorabilia in a fit of sadness or rage. It is very likely that you will regret this later on. Rather put all of the items in a box, and put the box at the back of a cupboard where it can stay out of sight and out of mind. If you think that throwing them away will be better, rather mull the idea over for a day or so in order to avoid regret. It will be helpful to remove these items from your sight to avoid adding to the hurt.
Do not replay your favourite Ed Sheeran tracks. Keep Taylor Swift’s love songs at bay. Find new music to play on repeat. Try to find a balance between emotional songs and songs that distract you. For the former, The Cure is highly recommended, as their emotional ballads will make you feel as if they are writing about your own experiences. Maroon 5’s V deluxe album is also conducive to the former, particularly songs like “Unkiss me”. For the latter, the soundtrack from the film We Are All Your Friends works perfectly. The electronic music distracts the mind, and the base throughout the album makes you want to move and groove – another good thing to do.
By getting a haircut or piercing, you are giving in to your desire to do something impulsive, but both lack permanence (thankfully). Please do not get a spontaneous tattoo to ‘really show your ex’. Rather get a cute haircut or a new piercing to modify your look. If you decide you don’t like it, both are relatively easy to fix. This fresh new appearance will also make you feel better.
Do not stay wrapped up in your blanket overthinking things. Make sure you spend time with your friends and enjoy yourself. There is not a lot that could be more detrimental at a time like this than spending all your time obsessing over what happened. You need to come to terms with what happened and carry on living your life. Allow your friends to help and distract you.
Despite point four, you also need to grieve the relationship. Give yourself the alone time you need to do this. While you must not obsess over it, you must also not ignore it entirely. Strike a balance between mourning and moving on. Make sure you feel the sadness and the anger. Experience the emotions, but do not let them fester.
Go to a club you never though you would enjoy. Read a book outside of your usual taste. Go hiking or rock climbing. Challenging yourself to do new things will allow you to realise that you can move forward and you can achieve things without the other person.
If you have the means to do so, this could be one of the most beneficial things you could do during this time. Whether it is overseas or across the country, getting out of your usual setting is very therapeutic. The change in scenery will allow you to escape and recover. Breaking your usual thought patterns, you will be able to reassess your situation and (if necessary) redirect your mind. Traveling will also allow you to do points four and five in a neutral setting, rather than in your home where the presence of your ex might be prevalent.
Working towards the aptly named ‘revenge bod’ is very beneficial. The physical exertion will allow you to work out your frustrations in a healthy way, and there is the possibility that you will feel more confident due to your hard work. The endorphins released from the exercise will also make being happier and feeling better a lot easier.
Finding a new hobby will take up a lot of your free time. It will feel good to start something new after the loss of the familiar. Hobbies such as yoga, gardening, gaming, learning to play a new instrument, writing, and reading are very good places to start.
This is possibly the most difficult thing to do post-breakup, but the constant reminder of your ex and seeing what they have been up to is very harmful. You needn’t unfollow or unfriend them if you find it is too difficult, but avoid their feeds as much as possible. Try to delete Snapchat for a few days. Unfollow them on Facebook so that their posts do not keep popping up. Avoid their Instagram page like the plague. Let yourself heal.