Pssst... 23 April 2018

Pssst… is back to name and shame the residences, and there is so much shame! Pssst… thinks using ablution facilities is not very difficult. Pssst… wonders how drunk you would have to be to confuse a shower and a toilet. They really don’t look similar. Pssst… thinks Taaibos is going to have to hold a house meeting to explain the difference to their members, and to write a collective apology note to their cleaners. Speaking of drinking, Pssst… is wondering how much drinking takes place at Kollege; it must be a lot. Pssst… is sure Kollege must still be passed out drunk, as rumour has it they have still not noticed one of their rocks is missing. Pssst… is not surprised, Kollege doesn’t tend to notice much if it isn’t wearing generic black leggings. Pssst… would like to take a moment to send a special message to all residence informal organisers. In light of all the Havana themed events, Pssst… will officially be changing the lyrics of the song to “Havana oh-no-no”, as in

“No, please no more Havana themed events, do better”. Pssst… is worried that Madelief has finally lost it.

Pssst… wants to know how many times they heard the hipple before they lost it. Pssst… thinks it’s a bit sad that Madelief has rewritten Magrietjie’s hipple to mock Magrietjie. Reverse-mockery isn’t real. Pssst… thinks the screaming match that ensued rivalled Mopani and Maroela’s car park shouting matches. Pssst… heard that Klaradyn and Taaibos were still

desperately trying to sell tickets to their event an hour before it started. Pssst… would suggest considering a better marketing strategy, or alternatively throwing better events. Pssst… would like to recommend the Boekenhout men for the “keeping it classy prize”, as Pssst… saw several Boekenhout men sitting in the street outside Madelief eating McDonalds. Are you okay, or did you just find out that women have rights too? Although they might have to share this new-found information with TuksRes, who think women are more safe visiting men’s residences than they are if men come to visit them in their own residences. Pssst… will continue to send thoughts and prayers to Olympus and Curlitzia as they don’t seem to have recovered since they ran out of IV drips at their Around the World events. Pssst… will be holding a memorial for Hatfield Studios.

It was good while it lasted, but Pssst… has to keep focused on residences officially recognised by the university.

Besides, the other residences were far more interesting than you anyway. But still, shame. Pssst… heard that Stuku had some confusion about booking venues last Thursday. Pssst… thinks if you have a venue overlap with the DSA, it was probably you who made the mistake. Pssst… thinks maybe Stuku got distracted by last Friday’s date, maybe they were excited to blaze it. Pssst… would like to give a special shout out to Erika. Just to remind you that in case you think Pssst… has forgotten that time you used our newly printed editions to make unfashionable clothes, Pssst… most definitely has

not. Pssst… has decided that perhaps you did that because you don’t know how to read. Pssst… would like to formally invite Erika to the Perdeby Writing Lab, if that is the case.

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